Weddings as a diagnostic tool?

Diets don't trigger eating disorders in everyone. The self-perpetuating thought patterns of an eating disorder are only set off in people with the right soup of brain function and temperament.

If these people never diet, they may never begin the disease process.

People without the brain chemistry to become anorexic, bulimic, or binge eat when malnourished can toy around with their metabolism and only end up feeling lousy and bad about themselves.

So when we live in a society where major rites of passage basically serve as a diagnostic sweep of the population for eating disorders - Bridezillas on a Diet - can we wonder why so many women are either ill or feel awful?

Perhaps along with the premarital counseling and marriage license blood tests we ought to add "Have you chosen your centerpiece and your ED clinic yet?"

Comments

  1. The opening line just made me really sad. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best for your big day, but there is no need to be self-destructive in doing so.

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  2. forever the bridesmaid3:35 PM, January 27, 2008

    I read the "Bridezilla" article and immediately thought, "I wonder if Laura or Harriet will do a post on this..." ~_^

    Although I agree with your basic premise, I think your closing statement is a tad hyperbolic. Will a significant minority of brides-to-be develop unhealthy eating behaviors prior to the wedding? As the article indicates, unfortunately, yes. Will the vast majority of these women return to their previously established eating behaviors after the wedding? Again, the answer (for better or worse ~_^ ) is yes.

    I realize that you're making a point, but to suggest (even rhetoricallY) that "chosing an ED clinic" should be as routine as chosing a centerpiece actually detracts from the credibility of your piece.

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  3. Interestingly enough, there seemed to be as much (if not more) controversy among the commentors regarding the term "Bridezilla" as there was with the content of the piece itself

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  4. Not only is attempting to lose the weight unhealthy, the 'bony bride syndrome' (I didn't coin this term) doesn't stop after the wedding. Aside from looking back at the photos and seeing the hideous fashions- there were some powder blue tuxedos at my parents' wedding- a woman will likely look back and think, "How thin I was then..."

    Which could then tempt her into going on another diet to get her 'youthful figure' back- which could also lead to an eating disorder.

    Dieting is dangerous.

    And on bridezillas: my friend is getting married this summer, and she said that brides have so much pressure and have to make so many decisions (red flowers or pink? Roses or orchids? Chocolate cake or vanilla?) that they literally *have* to become a 'bridezilla' in order to stay sane. Especially with the input from the peanut gallery.

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  5. forever a bridesmaid6:53 PM, January 27, 2008

    "bony bride syndrome"... never heard that one... perhaps a new eating disorder classification for the DSM-V? ;)

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  6. I had to laugh at that - not because it's funny but because I lost so much weight out of nerves (that's my stress response - I wasn't trying to lose weight at that time in my life) that the day before my wedding I tried on my dress again and it didn't fit - it was falling off! The dress was custom made and my dressmaker was in another state (it was a historic reproduction) and there was no time to even get a local tailor to fix it. I had to discreetly pin it to make it smaller. They should warn brides about that! There is only so much you can take in a dress!

    Yikes.

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  7. A friend bought a wedding dress today, for her wedding in August. They suggested that she buy it 3 sizes smaller, because "well, you know you'll want to look your best"

    Thankfully, she called me.

    I said BUY IT HOW IT FITS!!! YOU'RE WONDERFUL AND HE LOVES YOU NOW!

    I was going to have a 20th anniversary renewal ceremony, came very close to using this shop, soooo glad I was unable to follow through. Cannot imagine what they'd have done to my mindset last summer!

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  8. Your post in response to this article put a huuuuuge smile on my face. I'm the poster who got the response: “a reasonable eating plan that could result in permanent healthy weight loss would also be a positive thing for these women” and I had an intense *headdesk* moment. Thank you thank you THANKYOU for setting the author straight. I cannot stand her blog--she's a parrot for the "weight loss=health/fat=horriblybad" machinery and it infuriates me that the NY TImes gives her a platform. Arrrggggg...

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  9. Forever, I'm sorry I sounded obnoxious. I meant to be humorous, but I must have missed.

    Anonymous NYT reader, all we can do is try. I figure every time you or I pipe up and say "I object" there will be a fellow reader or two who will know society is not in lock-step on this. A comments section is an opportunity to ... wait for it... "speak now or forever hold your peace!"

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  10. ....on bridezilla.....you can have a stress free wedding like our d/fiance, who took off around the world on a pre-honeymoon trip and left ALL the planning to the doting parents, arriving back in time to slip into the amazing 'loan wedding dress' to walk down the isle. The wedding was a hoot with horse and carriage as well as AN remission d a brides maid. It was so casual that even her brother (one of the best men) turned up in a suit with red thongs(Aussie iconic beach footwear). The biggest stress was not being able to see the wedding photo's by 'the offical' photographer, who took over 1,000 digital but when blown up were all fuzzy and out of focus.
    The etheric energy from the wedding lived on.....for over a week.....and they're still together and happy.

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